It had to be clear that, at some point, we would hit a slow news day. That point has come. I started this activity with the goal of posting every day for a week. Then, I figured I’d try for a month and take a break. Unfortunately, I’ve run out of news before I’ve run out of month. Worse, I’ve not run out of enthusiasm. So, here we go.
Tepco analysts (the ones motivated to paint the conditions at the former Fukushima nuclear reactors a bit on the rosy side) have recently measured the radiation inside reactor #2 at 530 sieverts of radiation per hour. For reference, exposure to 10 sieverts will kill you within about a month, and 530 sieverts per hour will kill the robots used to scoot around inside the reactors (to do all the cool robot stuff they do) in about two hours (because they can only absorb 1000 sieverts before they die). Yes, Fukushima is still so toxic, it even kills robots. Go nuclear power!
In happier news, the bison are back! As part of its 150-year anniversary, Canada has decided to bring wild bison (really wild, as in they’re all pregnant with little anchor bison) back to Banff National Park. And, there they go! Now, don’t tell me the Canadians don’t know how to party.
Did someone say party? There’s a new sheriff in town and he invited all his little sheriff buddies to his place to hang out. So, what do sheriffs talk about when they’re alone and someone is taking a transcript of their conversation? Seized assets! See, when cops arrest people, sometimes they take their stuff. Then, they keep it–even if the people were innocent. It helps with bonuses. Anyway, that’s the back story to this exchange that got the media riled up:
PARTICIPANT: Mr. President, on asset forfeiture, we got a state senator in Texas who was talking about introducing legislation to require conviction before we can receive their forfeiture.
THE PRESIDENT: Can you believe that?
PARTICIPANT: And I told him that the cartel would build a monument to him in Mexico if he could get that legislation.
THE PRESIDENT: Who is the state senator? Want to give his name? We’ll destroy his career. (Laughter.) Okay, thank you.
Ok, that’s good, but is it anything he wouldn’t say about Rosie O’Donnell? I read through the transcript, and I want to leave you with this jewel, which I think is even better:
THE PRESIDENT: So what do you do? So in other words, they have a huge stash of drugs. So in the old days, you take it. Now we’re criticized if we take it. So who gets it? What happens to it? Tell them to keep it?
MR. BOENTE: Well, we have what is called equitable sharing, where we usually share it with the local police departments for whatever portion that they worked on the case. And it was a very successful program, very popular with the law enforcement community.
Has anybody checked to see if El Chapo has escaped again? I think he might be wearing a Trump mask.